Lost and Found

I lost something precious

A few days back

I lost something dear

To an avaricious attack

Ever since, it’s just been

A phase of doubt and pain

I quell it and it rises

Like a blinding haze again

Hot anger surges

At the unfairness of it all

My strengths now appear

So weak and small

It leads me to question

(as I knew it would)

Am I worth the pride I have?

Am I any good?

Ok! So that’s hurtful!!

But it’s also true

I better start being me

(Only I know how to!)

And if I am what I know I am

Can a little jolt pull me down?

I cry when I hurt, but if you’re alert

You’ll see a smile fighting every frown

So, smile again dear World,

I return sadder but wiser

I lost what I had, But I won it right back

And now I’m so much the nicer J

(My two-and-a-half months old N-73 was snatched from my hand in front of my building at 7.15pm!! It gave a jolt to my warm, safe little world - it was a rude awakening! Fear, anger, pain, helplessness, guilt - i felt it all. I lived it all; actually, wallowed in it. The N-73 seemed to have become a symbol of a personal failure. But a failure I am not. So, I am smiling again, though I'm mourning my mobile, still...)

Swan Song?

Have a strong feeling that I’m done here

Eyes have dried out even the last tear

Hands have done all they could

Legs have steadfastly withstood

Destiny’s jerks, its push and pull

I’ve lived this role to the full

Lived and learned, shared and cared

But it’s over now and I’m prepared

While I had this – I gave it my best

It’s time to take on a different test

It’s nearing end I know it somehow

The curtain falls… I take my final bow.

(This is for two of my strongest emotional anchors - Sameena and Priyanka. I've shared some of my best moments with them - laughing, sharing, talking, shopping, walking :) - and much much more! These are emotions that I feel they are feeling; since somewhere I live it all with them. Both ready to spread their wings in search for newer skies - my heart swells with pride and confidence to watch them soar, while a part still quails at the emptiness they'll leave behind!)

A 'lovely' point of view

Love makes men do
the strangest of things
(God save man from the
madness it brings!!)
The besotted lover
looks on and sighs
over what he describes
as almond eyes;
bow-shaped brows;
and hair like silk
The face is a moon
as white as milk
Rose buds for lips
Sea shells for ears
Neck of a swan’s
Even pearls for tears…

And on and on and on he goes
caught up in his love’s wild throes
O love-crazed lover, just this once
Think without metaphors and puns
If your imagination turned true
It’s the shortest route you’ll take
When you see what a grotesque
collage she’d make…!

Coffee Break!!

Fresh into a work day,
fingers itching for keys to punch
the mind all set to analyze
the back just waiting to hunch

Deadlines have no fear for me
I’ll get things done in a jiffy
and then my plans go for a toss --
for want of a cup, the deadline is lost…!

(When I joined office, I was introduced to the wonderful contraption called the coffee machine and the pleasures of whiling away time, chatting, philosophising and letting out frustration, under the pretext of a coffee break... also, the irritating effort of finding a clean cup!!!)

Point of view?

... and suddenly things begin fading out
Leaving me puzzled, assailed with doubt
My world reels out of focus and sways
The rainbow colours turn to greys
A riot of muddled up shapes disfigured
Points of brightness randomly triggered
All defining lines seem frayed
O God, now I’m really afraid!
Confusion leaves me wildly wondering
What happened? When? Why? And How?
Absently, I put on my spects
Uh…all’s right with my world now!

Ouch!

I live by rules
That I’ve been taught
I live by them
Forego a lot

Alone when I won
The battles I fought
If ever I slip
I get caught!

Phew!! I'm Alive!

It’s true, you know
So, beware
Life definitely
Isn’t all fair
When you want to rest
It makes you run
And makes you work
When you want some fun
Happy-go-lazy
At peace with the world?
Watch out! Be sure
You’ll be rudely twirled
Around life’s finger
And forced to dance
Round and about
In helpless trance
To a tune you hate
And a rhythm unknown
The only solace -
You’re not alone!

Life's Good!!

I feel uneasy, my eye’s begun to twitch
My pulse beats at a fevered pitch
Riddled inside with apprehension
Throat tight in nervous tension
What can be the matter with me
When life’s been so good recently?
Ah, now I know what is wrong
Life’s been too good for far too long
(Not one sad thought, not a single tear
Now that’s the kind of life I fear!)
All good things happening, boringly quick
Come on Life, forgotten to kick?
WHAM! It comes, and prizing the pain
I smile as I feel at peace again :)

Interview Blues

There are tortures and there are tortures
And then there are interviews
Bloodless, deceptively humane,
Modern man’s conniving ruse.

The plush office interiors
Shiveringly over-cooled
The polite cordiality
But I’m not fooled!

An interview’s still an interview
A scary, unnerving ordeal
One that I have to smile and suffer
No matter how I feel.

Icy fingers hidden under the table
Lips still dry, but breathing stable
(How difficult can it possibly be? -
a friendly chat over coffee!)

Somehow the pep talk fails to bring
The usual confidence and ease
Resignedly clearing my throat, I say,
“Send in the first candidate please.”


(22nd November 2006. Reliving what I felt when I, for the first time, took two interviews on 17th November 2006, the day I also completed 7 months in the company.)