Why I Cry

When the heart twists in agony
The pangs of pain hurt so bad
Senses go numb
Lips go dumb
and sensibilities retard.

Distraught nerves throb so fast
Breath caught in an aching gasp
The throat tight and choking
Fingers twitching and groping
trying yet helpless
unable to express

Feelings so tender, bruised and sore
Ideals shaken, beliefs unsure
Smarting under each willful attack
much too hurt to hurl it back

Two eyes gaze up in prayer
Two tears roll down, my saviour...

Wrote a poem after a long time in answer to a question I've been asked many times and one which I've wanted to find an answer to. Hope I've been able to convey at least some bit of what happens to make the tears come.

He & Me by Pri

I love the way you look at me

The way u hold my hand

The way u lead me to the floor

The way u understand

The lines you read out to me

In the stillness of the night

The way you hold me in your arms

Turning all the wrongs to right!

Sweet whispers in the early morn

Welcoming the new born day

Gazing lovingly into my eyes

Even when there’s nothing more to say

Eyes that make me feel secure

Lips that taste like wine

Make me wonder as each day goes by

How did I get a man this FINE!!!

Well, this creation is mine, not because I wrote it but because it was written for me. Priyanka wrote this for Akshay and me - the first of many (I hope!) to be written in our honour ;) Amazing how she can put into words all that I feel, given our severely limited conversations nowadays! Guess she can as only she can... :)

Love becomes her

The kohl-lined eyes
hold innumerable joys
The fair cheeks flush
with the warmth of a blush
Silken tresses form
an elegant chignon
Two dimples style
a shy little smile
The swish of silk
The band of gold
Celebrate anew
the bond of old.
She walks in beauty; a vision, a delight
She walks in love; in ethereal light...


This is for Vijaya - the victorious one!! To celebrate her engagement on 7th November, when she looked radiantly beautiful and oh so happy, it took everyone's breath away!! Guess that's what happens when your dreams come true... [sigh!!] :)

Lost and Found

I lost something precious

A few days back

I lost something dear

To an avaricious attack

Ever since, it’s just been

A phase of doubt and pain

I quell it and it rises

Like a blinding haze again

Hot anger surges

At the unfairness of it all

My strengths now appear

So weak and small

It leads me to question

(as I knew it would)

Am I worth the pride I have?

Am I any good?

Ok! So that’s hurtful!!

But it’s also true

I better start being me

(Only I know how to!)

And if I am what I know I am

Can a little jolt pull me down?

I cry when I hurt, but if you’re alert

You’ll see a smile fighting every frown

So, smile again dear World,

I return sadder but wiser

I lost what I had, But I won it right back

And now I’m so much the nicer J

(My two-and-a-half months old N-73 was snatched from my hand in front of my building at 7.15pm!! It gave a jolt to my warm, safe little world - it was a rude awakening! Fear, anger, pain, helplessness, guilt - i felt it all. I lived it all; actually, wallowed in it. The N-73 seemed to have become a symbol of a personal failure. But a failure I am not. So, I am smiling again, though I'm mourning my mobile, still...)

Swan Song?

Have a strong feeling that I’m done here

Eyes have dried out even the last tear

Hands have done all they could

Legs have steadfastly withstood

Destiny’s jerks, its push and pull

I’ve lived this role to the full

Lived and learned, shared and cared

But it’s over now and I’m prepared

While I had this – I gave it my best

It’s time to take on a different test

It’s nearing end I know it somehow

The curtain falls… I take my final bow.

(This is for two of my strongest emotional anchors - Sameena and Priyanka. I've shared some of my best moments with them - laughing, sharing, talking, shopping, walking :) - and much much more! These are emotions that I feel they are feeling; since somewhere I live it all with them. Both ready to spread their wings in search for newer skies - my heart swells with pride and confidence to watch them soar, while a part still quails at the emptiness they'll leave behind!)